It’s no secret that Cupid and I have this hate/hate thing going on. Basically, he’s jealous because I’m a much better archer than he is. Don’t get me wrong, Cupid is an excellent marksman, he needs to be. You can forget all about that nonsense of his arrows hitting the wrong target, that dude never, I mean never, makes mistakes. It’s just that I am so much better.
Cupid may be the god of love, but believe me, he doesn’t waste any of it on me. Not that I care, exactly, but it’s hard to maintain my dignity in front of everyone when he’s making me the butt of his silly little jokes. He’s the king of snide remarks and there’s always someone who will have a little titter at my expense. And ever since the infamous golden apples debacle I’ve been a bit sensitive.
Cupid’s always been spiteful. And capricious. He’s god of love, but it’s the uncomfortable, burning, irrational kind of love. He’s the expert on unrequited love too. That’s his specialty, if he’s feeling particularly bad tempered.
The trouble is, none of us has enough to do these days and this antipathy between us has bloomed like a nasty infection. We gods have always been prone to petty jealousies and vindictive behaviour, it’s how we are. But, I have to admit this is beginning to wear on my spirits.
So, imagine my delight when I happened to see how you humans have come to depict Cupid. It’s been some time since I took any notice of the affairs of men and I’m beginning to wish I’d taken a bit more notice sooner. Honestly, I’ve never laughed so much. A tiny fat baby looking thing with wings!
Cupid isn’t the biggest of the gods, it’s true, but he’s certainly not a roly poly, pink cheeked baby either. Like all of us, he’s ridiculously good looking and like all of us, incredibly vain and image conscious. He won’t like this one little bitty bit.
I haven’t decided how I’m going to use this information yet. I don’t want to stoop to his level and begin making nasty asides or mean comments, that’s so undignified. But I could let it slip, casually, that I have information he wouldn’t want the rest to know about and maybe it would be better if he kept his remarks to himself from now on. He may not care to protect my dignity, but still care enough about us divines, even if we’re no longer as important in the affairs of men as we once were, to try and protect his. Hopefully, this will bring me some respite from his incessant torments. Watch this space.